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Happy Birthday, Babe!
John Murtha dies. Charges against Marines pending
Like just about every mom out there, mine always told me that "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
Well, my mom passed in July of '02 and I seriously doubt she ever heard very much about John Fucking Murtha, because if she did, she would have rescinded her statement.
Fuck you, Murtha. I hope it was painful and you burn in hell right next to those Kennedy assholes.
Oh, and just so you know. I believe my prayers helped.
Well, my mom passed in July of '02 and I seriously doubt she ever heard very much about John Fucking Murtha, because if she did, she would have rescinded her statement.
Fuck you, Murtha. I hope it was painful and you burn in hell right next to those Kennedy assholes.
Oh, and just so you know. I believe my prayers helped.
Did anybody else see this ad and get pissed off?
Not at the ad, but at the thought of having to beat the living crap out of a politically correct, 'green' cop.
The fucksticks at HuffPo are creaming their pants
Cause Sarah had some bullshit written on her hand as a reminder.
No biggie. I probably have some reminders scribbled somewhere on my palm.
No biggie. I probably have some reminders scribbled somewhere on my palm.
Sarah Palin's Nashville Tea Party Speech from last night
In case you missed it.
The coffee's on
And once Kelly and I get moving, we're gonna head over to my dad's place for a visit and to hook up a new DVD/VHS player my sissy bought for him a few days back.
Would ya?
Yes or no?
nsfw
Decided it takes one hell of a complete fuckup to make a bunch of conservatives yearn for the real leadership of Hillary Clinton.
Okay, maybe not.
Okay, maybe not.
Superbowl weekend
Saturday morning and some fancy shit's brewing in my coffee pot.
Hey, who's gonna have guests over for the big Super Bowl weekend?
Hint: It's not gonna happen at this house, but we will burn a couple of burgers on the grill.
Hey, who's gonna have guests over for the big Super Bowl weekend?
Hint: It's not gonna happen at this house, but we will burn a couple of burgers on the grill.
Bite me
Look, I'm an asshole. If you talked with some people, they'd tell you that I'm not only an asshole, but a no good, rotten motherfucker of biblical proportions.
Fuck them, the lucky bastards. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Keeping the trash down is a difficult job and I simply do the best I can with the tools at hand.
Speaking of sleepovers, don't bring your girlfriend to my house during a football game unless she excels at blowjobs, or actually understands the game. And you. No puking in the corner of the den this year. The last time you pulled that stunt, my dog was sleeping there and received a very unfortunate nacho/warm beer/old pizza shower and then you wondered why he tried to rip your balls off with a 12th century battleaxe.
Another thing. If you're over the age of eighty-five, or very religious in some sort of fanatical way (ie: Methodists), you really shouldn't be stopping by this shithole on a daily basis. I mean, besides your cholesterol count going berserk as John Wayne Gacy in a Catholic boy's orphanage, you could actually begin to start looking at things the way I do, and be pissed off forever.
Seriously, the last thing I need is some distraught widow suing my tired ass because you couldn't deal with a full car battery and a quality pair of jumper cables, while sitting on my shitter, listening to old Foghat albums.
Fuck them, the lucky bastards. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Keeping the trash down is a difficult job and I simply do the best I can with the tools at hand.
Speaking of sleepovers, don't bring your girlfriend to my house during a football game unless she excels at blowjobs, or actually understands the game. And you. No puking in the corner of the den this year. The last time you pulled that stunt, my dog was sleeping there and received a very unfortunate nacho/warm beer/old pizza shower and then you wondered why he tried to rip your balls off with a 12th century battleaxe.
Another thing. If you're over the age of eighty-five, or very religious in some sort of fanatical way (ie: Methodists), you really shouldn't be stopping by this shithole on a daily basis. I mean, besides your cholesterol count going berserk as John Wayne Gacy in a Catholic boy's orphanage, you could actually begin to start looking at things the way I do, and be pissed off forever.
Seriously, the last thing I need is some distraught widow suing my tired ass because you couldn't deal with a full car battery and a quality pair of jumper cables, while sitting on my shitter, listening to old Foghat albums.
I'm gonna convert to Islam
The body of a 16-year-old girl police say was buried alive by relatives in an "honor" killing carried out as punishment for talking to boys has been discovered in Kahta, Turkey.
Turkish police discovered the body after acting on an anonymous tip. The tipster told police that the girl was killed after a family council meeting, and had been buried under a chicken pen. Police say that the girl had complained two months earlier that her grandfather beat her for talking to boys.
The girl, identified by police only by her initials M.M., was said to have a large amount of soil in her stomach and lungs, indicating she had been buried alive.
It's such a warm, fuzzy religion.
Turkish police discovered the body after acting on an anonymous tip. The tipster told police that the girl was killed after a family council meeting, and had been buried under a chicken pen. Police say that the girl had complained two months earlier that her grandfather beat her for talking to boys.
The girl, identified by police only by her initials M.M., was said to have a large amount of soil in her stomach and lungs, indicating she had been buried alive.
It's such a warm, fuzzy religion.
I've got nothing
Zip, nada, dick, a big ass bag of empty.
Talk amongst yourselves.
And Babe. If you read this? We're knocking out another couple of thousand words tonight.
I promise, it'll be dirty.
Right now we're working on Elliott's new lover (considering I killed the shit out of his last wife), Charlotte Marie Hornsby.
Would anybody care to build the description of her, physically?
(height, weight, thin, thick, boobage, ass, legs, hair and eye color, skin tone, rough heritage, etc...)
Talk amongst yourselves.
And Babe. If you read this? We're knocking out another couple of thousand words tonight.
I promise, it'll be dirty.
Right now we're working on Elliott's new lover (considering I killed the shit out of his last wife), Charlotte Marie Hornsby.
Would anybody care to build the description of her, physically?
(height, weight, thin, thick, boobage, ass, legs, hair and eye color, skin tone, rough heritage, etc...)
What's the old saying?
"Big or small, I love them all"
And so you should.
And so you should.
The people speak!
And they told this administration to kiss their asses.
Scott Brown was sworn in tonight.
Scott Brown was sworn in tonight.
God damn, Maxx! This is some of that serious gor-met shit!
After posting this, Maxx decided that my sorry ass should be drug out of the Dark Ages, so he sent me a pound of Costa Rican Red.
(Fuck! That was another shipment!)
It Was Coffee! Prank caller! Prank caller!
Anyway, it just arrived, so Kelly broke out her high toned coffee grinder, and whipped out enough beans for a pot of coffee.
This is the coffee, in the official BDP cup, no less, and it's pretty fucking tasty.
Thanks Maxx!
(Fuck! That was another shipment!)
It Was Coffee! Prank caller! Prank caller!
Anyway, it just arrived, so Kelly broke out her high toned coffee grinder, and whipped out enough beans for a pot of coffee.
This is the coffee, in the official BDP cup, no less, and it's pretty fucking tasty.
Thanks Maxx!
Check out the tards at Peaceblimp.com
But whatever you do, don't read too deeply into it lest your head might explode.
Fucking commies.
Via the Rosetta, the lead shitbird over the Hostages.
Fucking commies.
Via the Rosetta, the lead shitbird over the Hostages.
Treacher scores free blog fodder
Well, almost free. It cost him a broken knee.
I learned about this early this morning, so technically, the rest of the planet should already be aware of any strange, black SUVs by now.
Go by and drop off a bottle of scotch to assist the poor bastard. We need his fucked up humor back.
I learned about this early this morning, so technically, the rest of the planet should already be aware of any strange, black SUVs by now.
Go by and drop off a bottle of scotch to assist the poor bastard. We need his fucked up humor back.
Some people just need a good beating
A northeastern Pennsylvania woman who marketed "gothic kittens" with ear and neck piercings over the Internet has been convicted of animal cruelty.
A Luzerne County jury on Wednesday convicted 35-year-old dog groomer, Holly Crawford of one misdemeanor count and one summary count of animal cruelty, but acquitted her of two separate counts. She will be sentenced March 31.
Holly needs to be sentenced to an beating of legendary proportions.
I mean seriously. People like this are so fucking far out of the loop, they need to be killed.
A Luzerne County jury on Wednesday convicted 35-year-old dog groomer, Holly Crawford of one misdemeanor count and one summary count of animal cruelty, but acquitted her of two separate counts. She will be sentenced March 31.
Holly needs to be sentenced to an beating of legendary proportions.
I mean seriously. People like this are so fucking far out of the loop, they need to be killed.
Just because
I like guns.
And these are some serious guns.
And these are some serious guns.
It's Official
37% of Britons are brain damaged beyond repair.
"John Rentoul's campaign to defend Tony Blair's reputation doesn't seem to be going to well. According to a ComRes poll out today, 37% of voters think he should be put on trial for going to war with Iraq."
And I suspect somewhere around the very same number of Americans are as well.
"John Rentoul's campaign to defend Tony Blair's reputation doesn't seem to be going to well. According to a ComRes poll out today, 37% of voters think he should be put on trial for going to war with Iraq."
And I suspect somewhere around the very same number of Americans are as well.
Time to burn it all down and start over
Taxpayers to Fork Out $2.5 Million for Single Census Ad During Super Bowl
Yeah, you read that right. $2,500,000.00 of our dollars for one stinking ad.
Un-fucking-real...
Yeah, you read that right. $2,500,000.00 of our dollars for one stinking ad.
Un-fucking-real...
From Craigslist
Seeking Eunuch
Date: 2009-11-29, 12:52PM CST
I have been in the pornographic films industry for several years and I'm so sick and tired of dicks I can hardly stand it! If you have no genitals or are willing to have them removed then you may be the man for me.
I do not like and absolutely refuse to take part in any of the following:
blowjobs
rimjobs
footjobs
buttjobs
vaginajobs
dirty sanchez
blumpkins
strawberry shortcake
flaming dragon
Houdini
donkey punch
cincinati bowtie
gasmask
hot lunch
golden showers
cleaveland steamer
the Paul Rubins
gramma sophie's curtains
the Pittsburg landfill
I'm a mac and I'm a pc
how to lose a guy in ten gays
or any other sexual act of any kind.
If this sounds like your idea of a good time then get in touch.
serious inquiries only. No weirdos please.
I'm not even real sure what half of the those mean, let alone wanna find out.
For those of you who I might confuse
NSFW
Allow me to 'splain a few things.
I'm not a real Republican. Yeah, you read that correctly and your eyes didn't deceive you. I'm not. Couldn't be for two very distinct reasons.
One, I really don't give a flying shit about belonging to a group that's always asking for money and two, if I did belong to the Republican party, I'd probably spend far too much time telling some really nice folks to go fuck themselves. Plus, Rush Limbaugh says he doesn't want me in the party, so it must be true.
I've never fully understood how somebody can tell a woman what she can or cannot do with her own body, but then raise the biggest stink since the fart scene on Blazing Saddles when somebody tells them what they can or cannot eat, or consume in their own body.
Plus, I got no dog in the hunt, so why should I give a shit? Funny, 999 times out of 1000, neither do they. On that one occasion they do have skin in the game, the choice should be theirs alone. And if you did believe in life, why aren't you trying to shut down the big tobacco companies? Oh, that's right.... Tax dollars. My bad.
Just my opinion. If ya don't like it and want to change my mind, send me a photo of your boobs in protest and maybe I'll come around to your way of thinking, or maybe not. If nothing else, I'll post them on Flickr.
Those stem cell thingies? Shit, I saw 'em on sale the other day at the grocery store and they looked pretty good. Bet I could experiment in the kitchen with 'em and come up with something awfully tasty, huh?
Don't agree? Once again, boobs.
Gays in the military or getting married? It doesn't affect me, so why should I care? I don't. Hey, if you have a mustache and wanna chug cock, knock yourself out. Just don't be sending any drinks over to my table as I'm a huge fan of the Promised Land.
See Boobs.
Other than those minor items, and they really are minor, I pretty much agree with everything else (until I decide differently) those uptight Puritan cocksuckers say, so blow me.
Allow me to 'splain a few things.
I'm not a real Republican. Yeah, you read that correctly and your eyes didn't deceive you. I'm not. Couldn't be for two very distinct reasons.
One, I really don't give a flying shit about belonging to a group that's always asking for money and two, if I did belong to the Republican party, I'd probably spend far too much time telling some really nice folks to go fuck themselves. Plus, Rush Limbaugh says he doesn't want me in the party, so it must be true.
I've never fully understood how somebody can tell a woman what she can or cannot do with her own body, but then raise the biggest stink since the fart scene on Blazing Saddles when somebody tells them what they can or cannot eat, or consume in their own body.
Plus, I got no dog in the hunt, so why should I give a shit? Funny, 999 times out of 1000, neither do they. On that one occasion they do have skin in the game, the choice should be theirs alone. And if you did believe in life, why aren't you trying to shut down the big tobacco companies? Oh, that's right.... Tax dollars. My bad.
Just my opinion. If ya don't like it and want to change my mind, send me a photo of your boobs in protest and maybe I'll come around to your way of thinking, or maybe not. If nothing else, I'll post them on Flickr.
Those stem cell thingies? Shit, I saw 'em on sale the other day at the grocery store and they looked pretty good. Bet I could experiment in the kitchen with 'em and come up with something awfully tasty, huh?
Don't agree? Once again, boobs.
Gays in the military or getting married? It doesn't affect me, so why should I care? I don't. Hey, if you have a mustache and wanna chug cock, knock yourself out. Just don't be sending any drinks over to my table as I'm a huge fan of the Promised Land.
See Boobs.
Other than those minor items, and they really are minor, I pretty much agree with everything else (until I decide differently) those uptight Puritan cocksuckers say, so blow me.